what to eat on your period - banana oat pancakes

Recipes for your period: Banana oat pancakes

As promised, here is the recipe for the banana oat pancakes I made on the first day of my period. I’m not much of one for complicated recipes so this one is simple and quick. I’m sure you can find many pancake recipes out there but this is one that worked for me. I love eating energy dense meals like this during my period as it helps me to get in plenty of nutrients without feeling too full and bloated. I also don’t have as much of an appetite during the first couple of days of my period (after being super hungry the days before!) so making tasty meals, especially with a bit of sweetness is perfect!

Ingredients

2 eggs**
2 small ripe bananas
1/2c oats
1/4c milk (or non-dairy alternative)
1/2 tsp baking powder
Pinch salt
1 tbsp coconut oil for cooking
Toppings of choice!

**To make the recipe vegan try replacing the eggs with 2 “chia eggs

what to eat on your period - banana oat pancakes

Instructions

  • Start by blending the oats on high speed into a flour (I used a nutri-bullet but any blender should do the trick)
  • Add the rests of the ingredients and blend for about 10 seconds until combined well
  • Let the mixture rest for about 10 minutes to thicken up
  • Heat approx. 1/2 tbsp coconut oil on a frying pan on medium heat
  • Pour the pancake mix into small circles on the surface of the pan, trying to keep them separate
  • Heat until bubbles start to appear on the surface of the pancakes
  • FLIP to the other side and cook for a few more minutes
  • Serve the pancakes and repeat with any remaining mixture (this batch did 2 pans of 3 pancakes each)

I topped mine with honey this time but you can do any combination you like. Chopped nuts or nut butter, tahini, chocolate syrup or fruit are all great options so experiment and find your favourites!

Over to you…

Let me know in the comments if you try this recipe and what your favourite toppings are!

  • Like this post and follow my blog for more recipes and posts on how to eat to support your menstrual cycle.
  • If you’re interested in reading more about nutrition and the menstrual cycle check out the posts linked below.
  • If you want to work with me to get healthy and balance your hormones, contact me for more information about the nutrition and health coaching packages I offer.

Other posts you might like

Yoga for during your period / Yoga for period cramps

Should you practice yoga during your period? Yes! Practicing yoga can be very supportive for women during menstruation. Yoga can help to relax the body and mind, reducing tension which can cause symptoms such as intense cramps, lower back pain and headaches during your period. However, I recommend taking a break from exercise for a few days during your period and this includes any intense yoga practice. If you normally practice a more active form of yoga such as vinyasa flow or ashtanga, I suggest taking a break for a few days. Instead, choose a more gentle, restorative yoga practice during your period, at least during your first couple of bleeding days or until your flow is less heavy. A yoga sequence for period cramps, such as the one in this article is a much better way to support your body during this time to relieve period cramps and help you to feel better.

Yoga poses to avoid during your period

As well as more intense yoga flows, you should also avoid strong standing poses, inversions and backbends during your period if you really want to support your body and it’s natural rhythms. These poses can be strenuous on the body and could leave you feeling more fatigued during this natural time of rest and rejuvenation. Standing poses and backbends require a lot of core activation and tension in the abdomen which can increase period cramps and pelvic pain during your period. Inversions such as headstands, shoulder stand and handstands can also interfere with the downward flow or apana energy associated with elimination of period blood so it’s better to avoid these poses for a few days and practice the yoga sequence for period cramps below instead if you want to feel your best during your period and throughout the rest of your menstrual cycle.

Yoga poses for period pain

There are certain yoga poses which help to relieve pain in the pelvis and lower back during your period. Yoga poses for period pain include forward bends, hip openers and supported reclining postures which all help to relax and open up the muscles which tend to hold tension causing painful period cramps and back ache during your period. The yoga for period cramps sequence below includes a combination of supported standing and seated forward folds, hip openers and reclined back bends which will help to relieve period cramps and lower back pain as well as encouraging your nervous system to relax and let go so you can feel a sense of calm and wellbeing during your period. Menstruation is a natural time to reflect and turn inwards and yoga can really help to experience this effect.

Practicing the restorative period yoga poses below regularly during menstruation can help to reduce pain and discomfort during menstruation and help you on your way to pain-free periods in future cycles. If you have problems such as irregular menstrual cycles or heavy menstrual blood flow, these period yoga poses can also help to regulate your menstrual cycle over time by toning the muscles within your pelvic bowl and improving blood flow to your reproductive organs.

What you will need:

  • Yoga mat, towel or blanket
  • Bolster or dense cushion (see here for how to make a DIY bolster out of rolled up towels)
  • Folded blanket or towel (optional)
  • Yoga blocks (optional)
  • A quiet space to practice where you won’t be disturbed

Explore the period yoga pose descriptions and photos below , then practice this yoga sequence for period cramps in your own time. You can hold each posture for between 1 and 5 minutes, depending on how much time you have for your yoga practice. To improve flexibility, longer holds are better as you can really relax into the poses and allow your deep muscles to open up in their own time. The final reclining pose I suggest taking a bit longer, maybe 5 or 10 minutes to rest and relax with your eyes closed.

Standing forward fold (Uttasana)

Standing forward folds help to relieve tension in the lower back, reduce period cramps and calm the nervous system. During your period, practice forward folds with the knees bent deeply so you can rest your chest on your knees or support yourself with your hands on the ground or head on a block for a more restorative posture. Focus on a long straight lower back as much as possible to avoid straining and really feel the stretching along the back of your legs and a release in your neck and upper spine.

Hip opening with butterfly pose (Baddha Konasana)

Tight hips can create tension in the abdomen leading to painful period cramps and back ache. Baddha konasana pose is one of my favourites to release the inner thighs and outer hip muscles. This is where you bring the soles of your feet together and allow your knees to open, creating a diamond shape between your legs. Practice with your hips raised by sitting on a folded blanket and rest your upper body on a bolster or dense cushion for a full body relaxation. Yogi squat is another great pose for increasing hip flexibility! Sit on a block or two in this pose if you have knee issues or you can’t quite access the full squat yet, don’t be afraid to lift the heels off the ground.

Seated wide angle pose (Upavistha Konasana)

Another great yoga pose for period pain is seated wide angle pose or seated wide leg forward fold. This pose opens and relaxes the pelvic floor muscles, supports a healthy menstrual flow and helps to relieve period cramps. To practice this pose, open your legs in a straddle position, as wide as comfortable to stretch the inner thigh muscles gently. Again, during your period I recommend using a bolster or cushion for support and focusing on relaxing into the pose rather than trying to force a deeper stretch.

Adding a side bend and forward fold over each leg helps to lengthen and release tension in the lower back during your period. Focus on keeping both hips grounded on the mat and feel the stretch all the way from your hip, through your side body to the tips of your fingers in one long line of energy. Again, use the cushion or bolster for support, taking the weight of your upper body so that you can relax and let go.

Supine bound angle pose (Supta baddha konasana)

My favourite restorative yoga pose for period cramps or painful periods in general is supine bound angle pose. Practice this pose leaning back on a bolster for the ultimate relaxation experience! This gentle chest opener replaces back bends and acts as a counter pose to all of the forward folds in this sequence. The legs are in the same diamond shape as in the seated version of the pose above. The bolster should be touching your sacrum so that your spine is fully supported. Play around with different heights of your bolster to find the most comfortable spot where you can relax for 5 to 10 minutes at the end of your practice.

You can experiment with different arm variations to find what feels good, either arms outstretched at shoulder height or resting on your lower belly. You can even try out variations of yoni mudra in this position (as demonstrated by Ancient Yoga in the video below) as a gesture of connection with your womb and creative centre.

Over to you…

I hope you enjoy practicing this sequence of yoga for period cramps. Let me know if you give it a go and how you feel afterwards. Please like this post and follow my blog if you want more yoga sequences for support throughout your menstrual cycle. You can find a follow along version of this sequence on my Youtube channel Moon Life Yoga.

Other posts you might like

Sources

The Women’s Yoga Book (2011) by Bobby Clennell
Yoni Shatki (2014) by Uma Dinsmore Tuli
My BWY teacher training instructor the lovely Emma Lloyd

How I got my period back after 8 years of HA

I shared a story a while ago about my experience with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) and how I got my period back (see my posts here). But I finally decided to make a video about this topic as I realised just how important it is to spread this message. I don’t know whether it is just the online circles I hang around in but I feel like hormonal issues are becoming much more prevalent, especially in young women.

What is Hypothalamic Amenorrhea?

Hypothalamic Amenorrhea is the absence of menstrual cycles due to stress or negative energy balancing in the body. Menstrual disorders like that are affecting more and more women as we strive to achieve the perfect body through restrictive diets and punishing exercise regimes.

I don’t think social media is helping as we now are faced with images of attractive women and messages of how to eat and exercise to stay skinny, youthful and beautiful whenever we open up our phones or computers. Often this is packaged up as health but is this truly the message being sent? I don’t think so.

More like we are being shown an ideal which is unhealthy for most and unattainable for many. I’m sure that a good proportion of the women in the fitness industry are suffering inside, over exercising and restricting their diet to the point of physical deprivation and mental anxiety. Of course there are the exceptions but on the whole I think the fitness industry these days is pretty toxic.

How I got my period back after 8 years

Watch the video below from my Youtube Channel where I share my story of how I got my period back. Scroll down to the bottom of this post for links to my other articles where I share the specifics about diet and exercise for recovery.

Getting my period back after having HA for 8 years (!!) was a huge turning point in my life. this experience is what sparked my passion for nutrition and yoga that I love sharing to this day. I am still interested in health, including eating well and moving my body. But nowadays this is from a much more relaxed, intuitive place.

I’m not fighting my body at every turn I’m just going with the flow. I am able to maintain a healthy body without depriving myself or running myself into the ground and my mind is sooo much calmer and happier for it.

Summary

If you know anyone who could benefit from this message please feel free to share this video. Or if you are ready to work with me to rebalance your hormones and get healthy in a holistic, intuitive way then apply for holistic health coaching.

Over you to you…

  • Comment: How do you feel about the HA recovery diet? Which is the most difficult element for you?
  • Like this post and share to support my business
  • Follow my blog for more posts on nutrition, yoga and holistic health

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what to eat on your period - chocolate smoothie hemp seeds

What to eat during your period/menstrual phase

I got a lot of positive feedback on my last post about how to eat to optimise the pre-menstrual phase so I thought I’d carry on to the other phases of the cycle. Next up is the bleed itself.. the menstrual phase.

What is the menstrual phase?

Your period represents the start of a new cycle and it’s usually around 5-7 days.  At this point all of our sex hormones are at their lowest point and our core body temperature drops again. We often have low energy during this part of our cycle, we might have physical symptoms such as pain, bloating and fatigue as well as psychological symptoms such as feeling low or anxious. This is unique to YOU though! Some women actually really enjoy this phase as it can be extremely nurturing and a time to relax and reflect.

What is the period diet plan?

The period diet plan is designed to:

  • Support the blood building process with minerals
  • Provide enough energy and nutrients whilst being easy on digestion
  • Reduce inflammation to minimise painful cramps
  • Keep your body warm during this “cold” phase of the cycle

Why do you eat more on your period?

It’s not actually clear if women do get hungrier during menstruation, it really depends on the woman! Some women find they are extremely hungry in the days before their period and once they start to bleed their appetite drops off a cliff. Those who experience bloating or digestive issues might find they feel very full around this time of the month and don’t get as hungry. Others have more cravings during this time and tend to eat more, especially sweet stuff.

Scientifically, our metabolism drops slightly after being higher for the last couple of weeks. Often we are less active but we still need to eat to make sure we are supporting our body and restocking our nutrient stores for the cycle ahead. The best thing to do is to listen to your body and if you are hungrier than usual, try to nourish your body with healthy foods as much as you can. If you aren’t hungry, don’t worry you will make up for it sometime in your next cycle – this is the beauty of cycle syncing your diet!

What should you eat on your period? Carbs, fats, proteins?

The way I recommend to eat during your period is slightly different as our bodies go through a huge shift at this time. The key macro-nutrients we need at this times are fats and proteins which are the building blocks for repair of our tissues. Now is the time to get those omega-3 fats in as these are anti-inflammatory and have been shown to reduce menstrual pain. Think eggs and oily fish such as sardines and salmon for non-vegans or seeds such as chia and hemp for anyone on a plant based diet. These foods will also provide complete proteins which supports healthy hormone production – win, win! Other great sources of plant-based proteins are lentils, kidney and black beans. A cup of black beans contains 14g of protein, 22% of your daily iron and 10% of your daily calcium needs.

As well as oily fish, other seafoods such as mussels, squid and oysters are great to eat during menstruation as they If you don’t consume seafood, I recommend adding some sea vegetables or seaweed into your diet during this phase to boost your iodine and zinc levels, nutrients are used up during menstruation and they are more difficult to get in on a plant-based diet. You can try nori sheets in sushi rolls or add kelp or dulse flakes to any savory dish. If you have access to an Asian supermarket you will find lots of other sea vegetables to experiment with.

We still need a good source of carbs in our diet although maybe not as much as in the pre-menstrual phase as we are more in the rebuilding phase, turning our energy inwards rather than outwards. Dried fruits such as prunes, figs, apricots and dates can be really good as they provide a source of potassium and other minerals to help with muscle cramps and support building of the blood. A 100g serving of dried apricots can provide 15% of your daily iron needs too! Dried fruits are also more dense and less water rich than other fruits which means you can take in more calories with a smaller volume of food, great if you have little appetite and are struggling to meet your daily energy needs

I still recommend including grains and complex carbs in your diet but going for lighter options such as sweet potatoes or buckwheat and leaning more towards the proteins and fats during this phase. If you struggle with digestion during this time, choosing more processed grains such as white rice and pasta might feel better than wholegrain options during the menstrual phase (bet you never thought you’d hear a nutritionist say that!)

What foods should you eat on your period?

My recommendations for the best foods to eat during your period:

  • Proteins – lentils, kidney/black beans, red meat, eggs, oily fish
  • Seeds – pumpkin, flax, hemp or chia seeds
  • Veggies – sea vegetables, dark leafy greens such as spinach, kale, chard, beetroot and mushrooms
  • Fruit – dense fruits such as bananas, dates and antioxidant rich dark fruits such as blueberries, blackberries and cherries
  • Chocolate or cacao!

Making soups or stews with veggies, carbs and proteins is a really good way to eat during your period as these are super warming and nourishing and easier on the digestion. Especially if you feel bloated or have slower digestion during your menstrual phase, this can be a really nice way to eat. You can also include warming spices such as chili, cinnamon and cloves. Menstruation is the “inner winter” of our cycle so think about the ways you eat during the outer season of winter and you’ll be on the right track.

Why do you crave chocolate on your period?

We need minerals such as iron, magnesium and calcium to rebuild the blood and reduce muscle cramping which causes period pains. My favourite source of magnesium and iron is chocolate! Go for good quality dark chocolate or add cacao/cocoa powder to oats, smoothies or hot chocolate to satisfy chocolate cravings and get a boost of feel good neurotransmitters. I love treating myself with chocolate based meals during my period as it just cheers me up and makes me feel like a queeeen.

We can get also iron from plant-based sources such as beans/lentils, blackstrap molasses and vegetables such as beetroot or from red meat including as beef and lamb. When we think of calcium most people think of milk, cheese and yogurt but I actually don’t recommend dairy products for women with hormonal imbalances. Other sources of calcium are green veggies such as kale, broccoli and spinach as well as fortified non-dairy milks, tofu and sesame seeds or tahini.

What foods should you avoid during your period?

Another question is what should you not eat on your period? Even though its tempting to give in to cravings for sweet and fatty foods during this time (especially when we feel low and need a boost!) try to nourish your body with healthy foods first and have these small treats on the side. There is no such thing as good and bad foods but some foods will support you more than others and help to reduce symptoms and help you to feel better if you are struggling during this phase.

Same goes for stimulants and relaxants such as caffeine and alcohol. They can help you to feel better in the short term but they can leave you feeling worse afterwards. Using coffee to power through when our bodies are crying out for rest will only dig us deeper into that energy deficit. It’s much better to give your body the rest it needs, even if its only a 10 minute nap, than carry on regardless and end up crashing later. I am speaking from experience here and its a hard lesson to learn! I recommend not to drink coffee during your period, or to switch to decaf

Over to you…

I hope you found this article helpful to learn how to nourish your body and feel better during your menstrual phase! If you’re interested in reading more about nutrition and the menstrual cycle check out the posts linked below. Like this post and follow my blog for more recipes and posts on how to eat to support your menstrual cycle.

  • Tell me in the comments below what are your favourite foods or meals to eat during this part of your cycle? I’d love to know what is your best way to eat chocolate on your period?
  • If you want to work with me to get healthy and balance your hormones, contact me for more information about the nutrition and health coaching packages I offer.

Other posts you might like

Sources

Skolmowska, D., & Głąbska, D., (2019). Analysis of the possibility to compensate menstrual blood loss in young Polish women by the dietary iron intake. Proceedings of the Nutrition Society, 78

Rahbar N., Asgharzadeh N. & Ghorbani R., (2012). Effect of omega-3 fatty acids on intensity of primary dysmenorrhea. International Journal of Gynecology & Obstetrics. 117(1)

Mahmoud, A. Makhdoom A. et al. 2014. Association between menstrual disturbances and habitual use of caffeine. Journal of Taibah University Medical Sciences. 9(4).

Learning from my mistakes

I’m on day 6 of my cycle and have just come out of a deep, challenging bleed. I had a lot going on last month. As well as my day job, I had a deadline to submit a nutrition article to a scientific journal which fell on day 23 of my cycle, so for the two weeks prior to that I was pushing myself and working hard. I was relying on a morning coffee to get me going for the day which was a habit that took me a long time to break and I think I am super sensitive to caffeine. I was also sat at my computer for 12 hours a day and some of my other self-care practices fell by the wayside because all my energy was being pumped into my project. I made all the mistakes and really paid the price for it.

On day 24, the morning after I submitted my article, I woke up at 4am feeling sooo crappy. It was the weekend but I was so exhausted and in a bad mood, I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything fun and just sat around feeling sorry for myself. By the time I went back to work on Monday I was feeling so tired and anxious, my whole body was aching and even short walks were leaving me feeling depleted. I ended up taking a few days off work because I just didn’t have the energy and was struggling to concentrate. As my bleed approached, my moods were all over the place too. I was crying over everything. My neighbours cat got hit by a car and I cried for a whole day. I also got angry a few times over tiny things which really isn’t like me.

 

I just felt so sensitive and irritable, I lost all motivation and started questioning everything in my life. I know this sounds extreme but anyone who has suffered severe PMS or PMD will understand this feeling. It’s as if this feeling of doom comes over you, something takes over your brain and you almost feel like you are losing your identity. My period came late too, on day 33, and I had nearly 10 days of PMS symptoms including headaches, insomnia, mood swings, sore breasts, aching muscles and joints. I’ve experienced all of these before but it’s not my “normal” so I know it was due to me not taking good care of myself this cycle. Even though I knew it already, this has really highlighted to me the importance of listening to my body and practising cycle syncing as best as I can.

A tip I learned from Alisa Vitti, the author of “In the Flo”, is to assess your to do list each day and reflect on whether this is in line with the phase of your cycle you are in. Any days that there is a clash (e.g. if you have to do a big presentation at work on day 1 of your cycle) then she recommends to make sure to fit an extra self-care practice into your day to support your body. I think this is a really good idea and I am going to try and put it into practice this month. My absolute favourite self-care ritual is to have an epsom salt bath with essential oils, listening to a feel-good podcast or music then give myself a full body massage with some yummy smelling body lotion. I also love spending time outside in nature although this is a bit tricky with the lockdown right now!

Another good idea is to really pay attention to the “cross-over days” of the cycle. These are the subtle shifts in energies as you transition from one phase to the next. In this case I totally blew past the shift from inner summer (ovulation) to autumn (pre-menstrual phase) which is one of the most important points of the cycle as it’s when the tide turns and we move from the outward facing, masculine, doing energy to the feminine, being energy. The other key one is the transition from inner winter (menstruation) to spring (follicular phase) when the opposite energy shift is happening. It’s key to bring awareness to these points in the cycle and register any signs from the body that its time to shift gears. Otherwise we can end up swimming upstream, living totally out of alignment with our natural rhythm.

It can be very hard to practice this when we have so many distractions and demands from the outer world. But even just observing these energy shifts and bringing awareness to the subtle changes we feel can have a huge impact. I know if I’d listened to my own advice and realised that my deadline was going to fall in the second part of my cycle, I could have taken better care of myself and maybe avoided the crash and burn that I experienced this month. Right now I am hyper-aware that I am in the winter-spring crossover. I have spent the last few days resting and recharging and my energy levels have started to improve, now I am taking care to move gently and not blow my fuse too quickly. It’s really tempting to rush to get out there and do things, catch up on work that  missed when I was off, but I’ve been taking it slowly and trying not to overdo it. 

Listening to our bodies can definitely feel frustrating at times, especially when our mind has its own agenda. But instead of seeing it as a betrayal when my body doesn’t feel like doing the things I had planned, I am trying to lean into my cycle and learn from it’s messages. I know this works as I’ve been in a really good place with cycle syncing before but I have kind of lost my way the last few months because life got in the way. I know that menstruality is a practice, an art even, and it takes a lot of patience and perseverance. But it’s teachings are sooo worth it and I am excited for the months ahead!

Reconnecting with menstruation, rethinking menarche

Do you remember when you got your first period? How did you feel.. empowered? Afraid? Ashamed? Energised? Powerful? Disappointed? Excited?

For me it was a pretty forgettable experience. I don’t even remember the exact age although I know I was around 11-12 years old. I couldn’t tell you whether I was at home or school at the time, whether it shocked me or I was expecting it. I remember telling my Mum and her being very supportive, showing me where she kept her supply of pads and how to use them. At school I think I told my closest girl friends but we never really spoke about it and it wasn’t a big deal. My periods were fairly regular from day 1, I had typical mood swings and pain but I never suffered with heavy bleeding or intense cramps. When I did have pains I was told to use a hot water bottle or take painkillers. I never had to miss school or other activities because I was bleeding I just carried on with my normal life. All in all I’d say for the first few years my cycles were about as uneventful as you can get!

I guess you could say I had a fairly “good” experience of menarche compared to many girls. There was no embarrassing situation, I didn’t feel ashamed to tell my parents and it didn’t really affect my life in a negative way, or in any significant way at all really. But herein lies the problem. Although there was no outright issue, there was always the underlying message that I now carried a secret with me. I was supposed to hide the fact that I was bleeding and not let it affect my life or the lives of others around me. I remember times when I started my bleed in school, quietly bending down under the table to take a pad from my bag and slip it into my jacket pocket so that I could sneak off to the toilet without anyone realising why. I remember being glad when I moved into year 10 as we were allowed to wear black skirts instead of grey and I no longer worried about bleeding onto it without realising. I remember dreading having to do sports lessons when I was exhausted and crampy and just wanted to be curled up in bed.

My dad, although also supportive, did the typical male thing of blaming our female hormones whenever me or my mum were moody, snappy or irritable. He never meant any harm, he was only teasing and making fun of the situation. But I didn’t know about the different phases of my cycle back then and this reduced my experience of menstruation to only two aspects: PMS and blood. I was glad each time my period ended because it meant I could get back to “normal”. The pain went away and my mood would lift again for another month until my next bleed. I rejected this part of me and saw it as a shameful secret rather than something to be proud of. In effect, the monumental milestone of me becoming a woman just faded into the monotony of daily life. I was never taught to acknowledge the significance of my period and saw it more as an annoying inconvenience than anything.

Once I turned 16 and wanted to start exploring my sexuality for the first time, I was terrified of getting pregnant. I asked my mum if I could go onto the contraceptive pill and with her permission I was prescribed it straight away by my doctor. I’m sure you don’t even need parental permission these days and can easily get a prescription from a sexual health clinic. I’m not going to go off on a tangent here about whether this is the right thing or not but the point I want to make is that the decision for me to take medication to disrupt my cycles was so easy for me to make (aside from the embarrassment of having to admit to my mum that I was sexually active). I didn’t have any awareness of the importance of my cycle and what I might lose by pumping my body with artificial hormones on a daily basis.

Although I was made aware of the risks of taking the pill in terms of increased risk of various cancers and blood clots, no one ever told me what the pill would do to my body. As I was taking the pill with a break week each month, I thought I was still getting a period and somehow the pill just stopped me from getting pregnant. Now I know that it was only a fake period from the huge drop in hormones for the week I wasn’t taking the pill. I was so out of touch with my body that I didn’t notice the loss of my natural rhythms and only experienced the negative “side effects” of the medication such as intense mood swings and increased acne. I went back to my doctor and was prescribed a different pill which might “suit my body better”. Eventually after 12 months and 3 different pills I heeded the warning signs  that the pill was harming my body and accepted that I had to come off it.

After I came off the pill, my natural cycles didn’t restart and I struggled with what’s known as Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) for 8 years! For most of this time I didn’t care and was actually quite glad that I didn’t have my period. It relieved me of the inconvenience of having to buy tampons and worry about my periods impacting my plans. I could have sex without worrying about getting pregnant and I didn’t have to deal with annoying hormonal acne, bloating or cramps. But still something didn’t feel quite right. Somehow I felt so disconnected from myself and felt like life was happening to me rather than me living out my purpose. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. I didn’t understand it at the time but now I can see that all of this was related to being totally disconnected from my body and especially my womb space.

I think this is something that many women experience through being on the pill but it often goes unacknowledged as we don’t really talk openly about these things. Because most girls are not taught to appreciate and engage with their cycles from a young age, we don’t really know what we are missing when we suppress our natural rhythm either through contraceptives or just by not paying attention to our bodies. The deep knowing of the womb still speaks to us so we have the feeling that something isn’t quite right but we don’t understand it and often feel like there is something wrong with us. I think that this disconnection is also partly responsible for why so many women suffer with conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis as we are so out of touch with our intuition that we end up doing things which disrupt our hormonal balance. I think if girls were taught to celebrate and embrace their bodies and feminine nature, these issues would be much less prevalent.

When I regained my cycle, my second experience of menarche was so so different. I had been actively trying to recover my cycles for years and had been deep in the recovery process for 4 months. In that time I had read so much about female hormones, how they fluctuated throughout the cycle and the different phases. I was aware of the mood changes and physical symptoms I could expect and was on high alert for any positive changes I saw in my body. There was an excitement as I became aware of my body temperature rising, the changes in quantity and texture of my cervical mucus, the subtle shifts in my mood and energy levels and my libido. When I was about to bleed for the first time I just knew it, I could feel the buzz in my womb and the heaviness of my breasts for a whole week before and I couldn’t wait to see if I was right. This is how all girls should be able to feel.. the anticipation and exhilaration of becoming a woman rather than fear and shame.

I was actually on holiday when I started my bleed, something that I would have dreaded when I was younger as I would have thought it would stop me from going in the sea and ruin my trip. But I was so happy I didn’t care. I called my mum to tell her the news and actually cried with joy. Ever since then I have been thankful each time that I get my period and will never take it for granted again. I am still in awe of the power and magic of the female body to create life and I am fully aware of how my hormones are affecting my experience of life from day to day. I can’t ignore the messages and signals my womb sends anymore and although my period doesn’t completely dictate my life I do consider them whether I am working with or against my hormones with every decision I make.

I wish that all girls could have a positive experience of menarche, one that affirms their magnificence as a women and gives them a boost of confidence and self-esteem. Many tribal cultures such as Native Americans have embedded the celebration of menarche in their culture with powerful rituals and coming-of-age ceremonies but it’s something that we have lost in the UK and other Western countries. I think it’s time that we reconnect with menarche and develop our own ways to celebrate this time, not just for girls entering womanhood but also for all the women reconnecting with their cycle after years of ignoring it, hating it or suppressing it with contraceptives. I know the trend of “period parties” is starting to take off with parents celebrating menarche with their daughters and women generally feeling able to speak more openly about all things period related. I hope really it continues and we move into a more period-positive time!

My full moon menstrual emotional rollercoaster

This week has been chaotic emotions-wise for me. With the super pink moon and my bleed falling at the same time, energies were running high. It started on Monday, the night before the full moon. I couldn’t sleep well at all, then on Tuesday the same thing again. I woke up at 3am exactly in time to see the beautiful full moon and decided to do a forgiveness ritual (I wrote about this here). For the rest of the week I struggled with insomnia and a general feeling of anxiety and unsettledness. My emotions were all over the place and my inner critic was running wild.

The current crisis is bringing up so many deep fears and low frequency energies collectively. I think I am handling it pretty well, I am trusting that the measures we are taking are good enough but I am not getting overly anxious about the virus. We are sticking to one shopping trip a week, only going out for walks around our local area and washing our hands whenever we go out. However, being in lockdown means we all have a lot of time on our hands for emotions that were already there under the surface to rise up. Without work and socialising as a distraction, our existing fears and anxieties seem to be magnified on the blank canvas of quarantine life. I know I am having to face some unhelpful thought patterns and deep buried emotions.

Last week I was feeling very happy when I realised that my bleed would fall on the Easter bank holiday week end as I could take a true menstrual retreat with 4 days off work. I have to say this part was great. No emails to answer and no social commitments to stick to.. the bliss of nothingness. Easier said than done though for someone with a very masculine drive to get things done. I am normally a bit of a clean freak and if I see mess in the house I can’t help myself tidying up but I committed to taking time off doing all housework. My boyfriend stepped in to do the cooking and the dishes but all laundry, hoovering and tidying went on hold for a few days.

For the day before and the 3 days of my bleed I took a lot of time out to rest and recharge. I have been feeling exhausted physically with aching muscles and joints and an overwhelming psychological fatigue. So I stopped all exercise except walking and yoga and I built myself a little cave in the spare room with soft blankets and pillows so I had a space to retreat to. I was also feeling very suffocated and really wanted to be on my own. Conversation was difficult and I didn’t even want physical contact most of the time. I felt moody and irritable whenever I had to try to communicate. If I could have gone and lived in a real cave for a few days away from everyone I would have! All I wanted was my cosy space, my books, my journal, my yoga mat and my mandala colouring book and pens. Oh and my cat Teddy, look at those paaaaawwwsss 🙂

I really wanted to do a tech detox too but this time I couldn’t resist keeping my phone and laptop on. I just tried to spend less time online, especially on social media and mainly used them for listening to music and podcasts and for yoga videos. I did get sucked into the social media vortex a few times though and I think this didn’t help with my emotional state. In my inner winter I can be pretty fragile and sensitive to what I am feeding my brain. My old eating disorder thought patterns around body criticism and food restriction can easily flare up, especially if I give myself the opportunity to compare myself to others online. But I did a lot of purging of these emotions, sitting with them and allowing the anger and frustration to come up.

I must have written 50 pages in my journal in the last week! Mostly just random ramblings about how I’m feeling about myself, the current situation and life in general. I have been re-reading some of Marianne Williamson’s work and following her writing prompts as a way to dig deeper into my belief systems and do the inner work. My emotional patterning is becoming pretty clear to me and I know I need to rewrite some stories. You know you have heard  a truth when every cell of your body is up in arms when you hear it. Whats clear to me is that I need to chill out a little and stop taking life so seriously. It’s ok to take some time out and have fun.. I don’t need to be on a constant mission of achievement and proving myself.

With the full moon in Libra it was also the time to reflect on relationships past and present. I’ve been thinking a lot about certain people in my life and ones that are no longer in my life. This year has been a strange one for me. I have moved away from my home town to a new city where I don’t know many people. I’ve lost touch with quite a  few old friends as I’m not very good at keeping in contact with people from a distance. I’m a natural introvert and INFJ personality type which means it can be difficult for me to come out of my shell unless I feel truly safe and I crave truly authentic and deep friendships. From 16 personalities:

“People with the Advocate personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance. They avoid situations like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is regular contact. People with this personality type seek out others who share their passions, interests, and beliefs. They create friendships with people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.”

I totally resonate with this and at the moment I am struggling to find my tribe. I know it will happen eventually but right now I am feeling lonely and a lack of connection. I was just starting to get into a groove with socialising before the lockdown and now I can’t wait to be able to get out again and join some groups or go to local events and meet new people. For now I have joined some online groups and I am really excited to find sisterhood again. I have some old wounds when it comes to female friendships and this cycle I have really been asking for forgiveness for regrets in my past and focusing on forgiving others who have hurt me. This has been pretty painful and I have had a lot of sadness, anger and frustration come up to be released.

But now I am on day 4 of my cycle now and I can see the glimmer of spring approaching. I am feeling somewhat refreshed and motivated for the weeks ahead and ready to take on some creative projects. My sleep is slowly starting to improve and my energy levels are rising. I love how our cycle gives us that natural break from the treadmill of life (if we choose to answer the call that is). Cycle syncing is a practice and each month we have to opportunity to surrender again and receive the benefits. Now for the fresh challenges of the follicular phase.. how to continue to move slowly and continue to allow the energy to rise without shattering this sense of inner peace. More on that in another post 🙂